KANAME-CHAN HAS A BOW HALL!

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM. SRSLY.

All happiness flailing aside though, I really don't think I can manage to go in February for Tokyo Seinenkan (especially raku, but really, I will try in my mind anyway). I will see how much money I have by the time it gets round to that time but I have never been able to see Teru lead in a bow hall ever, and the experience would be amazing before she gets to Top or something at some point in life and I can't see her play other types of roles.

But yeah, Robert Capa of all things. It seems like something they'd give Teru though. And I guessed she'd have a bow hall because she just entered Soragumi, but I wonder who else will be in the cast, SO CURIOUS. I also wonder who will be her partner too. Either way, she'd make a hot cameraman (albeit one who captures war scenes so... I don't know how they'll do that).

What is with Teru and war-time bow halls haha just get her to be a vampire/death/something again please? Rirakabe already killed me by making me cry everywhere.

I'm sad she's not going to be in Kamen no Romanesque but that's okay too because BOW HALL.

I AM SO HAPPY FOR HER

I am writing to her as soon as I get home, perhaps on a Robert Capa photograph postcard haha

SO HAPPY YOU GUYS!!

Okay, I really love this song haha it makes me cry because the lyrics are so nice. I never thought I'd like Nishino Kana, because I'm not really into singers that look gyaru really, but she's appeared in a lot of non-gyaru magazines lately, so I guess she's not THAT gyaru I guess. She's adorable though.



LOOK AT HOW CUTE SHE IS!

I would translate the song but I think my brain died today translating this Kiteru article but I always look at this song like it is in the video, about friendship. Because I doubt she's into girls haha and it's adorable. The thing that people probably like/don't like about her songs, but for me obviously I find it endearing, is that she sings about things really simply. Like it's just really heartfelt because it's so simple.

I might do it anyway haha

( tada! )

Oh and I have to do a resit exam because I failed Japanese in Japan because of circumstances like oh you know, life and death and falling out of love/terrifyingly abusive relationship, which is apparently what makes you fail at school. But I hope to ace it with a lot of cramming! It's September 2nd so that's still a month of studying before I take it!

I wonder who else failed, just me maybe haha

But I have another test on September 16 so let's hope I can do all of those and not die. でも死ねばいい（笑）

I like how even if this srs entry of srs, I crack an Elisabeth!Mizu joke.

I was going to write a giant entry on what happened with my life and I will eventually but right now I have to write down everything I am feeling about Teru because she is just so amazing I can't even put into words how beautiful this woman is on the inside and out.

I've just been sat watching her personal part in her episode of Brilliant Dreams and my brain can't even deal with how amazingly modest she is. I mean, I know Japanese people are pretty "oh no, I'm not that great" all the time, but there's this tiny part where she describes how at the back of her script she gets, there's a blank page, and in that blank page she draws what type of make-up she would have for her character and her hair and how it should look. I don't know if other siennes do this but it just, it made me so proud to be her fan, and I am not sorry I waited a whole year to join her fanclub, because this woman is just so brilliant.

She rarely even says a word at iride, and she used to be so bad at it, but she's gotten so much better at talking to her fans. And for some people it may seem like she doesn't care, but when you watch things like this, you notice how caring she is about everything, and I know she's probably just terribly shy (because look at her, she pulls her sleeves over her hands and does all these mannerisms that suggest she really still isn't that confident in herself, though she is now more than she used to be, but that comes from just being in Takarazuka long enough). And I might not know her, and I might not be anyone close to her at all, and some crazy fan who's only seen her in two productions, but I still think she's a marvelous person and a brilliant actress (and dancer, even if she never really did ballet, but then look at Yuuhi haha)

She also talks about how her mum used to liked drawing, and probably does, why did I use the past tense, and she went to art museums, and she is so good. It definitely makes me want to draw for her because she'd probably really like that now I've seen this.

She's also really good at cooking, says Hoshigumisei, which makes me even more giggly because somehow the image of Teru being a good cook isn't beyond my imagination. They say Chie cooks like a man though, and Teru did a demonstration where she looked like she was hacking up a cabbage and it was hilarious. I can totally see that too.

And she just gets better and better. I hope she is still nibante for a while. Not that I don't want her to be a Top Star eventually, of course I think she deserves it, but I really want to see her improve herself even more, and that's why I think they moved her to Soragumi. Afterall, Mizu moved around so many times, and Yuuhi barely spent a year in Hanagumi and then just became Top in Soragumi. And I want to see her grow, and even though she got on so well with Hoshigumi, whenever I see her face in Soragumi talks, the way I see her take it on like a hero, it makes me so proud of her as a fan.

Oh gosh, so when they ask her why she wants to do this kind of artwork, she talks about how she was always with her grandfather, and how she missed him when she was away from home, and she gained a lot of confidence that way in herself when she had to do things for herself. And then one day her mother left a message on her voice mail saying her grandfather had passed away she couldn't really believe it. And she went immediately home (she's from Kanagawa so she went back to Tokyo from Takarazuka) to see his 'sleeping face' and she realised how she hadn't even said or done anything with him before he passed, then she starts to get teary and cry. I can't even.

I want to give her a giant hug for just being alive.

Of course she then goes on to say how the elderly people she is drawing with are doing all that they can and being able to do that with them is an amazing thing. And smiles.

So I sound like I'm in love with her, and I am a little bit, but in that way, I feel like it gives me more motivation as a fan to go see her, to be in her fanclub, to write to her and tell her how brilliant she's doing, buy her things I think she'll like. I can't wait to get my hands on Utsukushiki Shougai/Luna Rossa even. If I was an office lady, I would probably spend way too much of my money on her.

I would have a friend say she is being fake somewhat, because you can't know everything from just watching a person you don't know, but. You can't fake crying about your grandfather who passed away who was everything to you, unless you have something fundamentally wrong with you. So. He can shove something unpleasant up his ass, I am not even going to ever explain my fandom ever again because that is all I ever get from people who think I am insane.

And this may be insane, but I obviously don't care.

What is learning Japanese so I understand things that they're saying.

I think I should stop and go watch the rest of her Brilliant Dreams episode so as to spare you my giant rant about how much I love Ouki Kaname haha

( lyrics I typed up from Utanet )

Actually I don't know if I typed all of that up since you know, it's hard to flick back and forth between Utanet and a stupid LJ textbox so.

The only reason I even looked up this PV was because my favourite Popteen model is in it. I didn't even know until I checked her japanese Wiki page haha, but hey, now I know.



( cut for more picture haha so Misaki doesn't take up your whole page )

So there we go, that's my favourite Popteen model. I don't really know what other models in other magazines I like other than Arisa and Amo in Zipper (though Amo is everywhere lately)

It's hard to find pictures of Arisa other than in Zipper but I found this on the Grimoire blog haha



And then there's Amo and she's so EVERYWHERE lately that it's pretty easy to find her blog/pictures haha


AMOSCREAM
which I think is her blog... she seems such a party animal for an 18 year old haha

That was a really stupid post for no reason haha

And if you listen to the song above, when the guy sings OH it sounds like ROY and when he sings MAE E it sounds like MARIANNE. OR MAYBE IT IS JUST ME.

Also I have new hair. Pictures when my face isn't shittastic/shiitake.

These are my goals for when I have money :D

( Cut for frills and all sorts )

Because it's not like I love this song to bits or anything...



Of course it's like, some JE version of NE-YO but you know haha THAT IS AMAZING IN ITSELF to be honest. Morita and Miyake are way to hilarious in it when I watch the PV to take it seriously (that and... it's like DANCING TORSOS all over the place). I love how Morita has to 'embrace' the woman and he looks like he'll just CRACK UP on screen. So Morita though.

AISHITERU USO JANAI KOTOBA WA MAHOOOOU WA

I love how Miyake and Morita have to rap because obviously they are unable to do anything else musically hahaha.

It's sad how people forget older JE groups (other than SMAP maybe because no-one in SMAP is decent to be fair... Kimura is like a slutface and Nakai can't sing and... well okay I like Goro and Shingo and Kusagani HAHA) Mostly Kusanagi now he got drunk and naked.

裸になって何が悪い？！
SHINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I don't really feel much for TOKIO (I know like, four of them, and then there is that guy whose name I always forget WHOOPS).

Kinki Kids are... WIN in the old days and then somehow something happened and now all I like is Tsuyoshi because he's still kinda awkward and weird to me (and still Kindaichi but you know, I don't think that will ever leave me). Koichi is just... a woman.

Other than that it's Arashi then right? After that... of which you know I love the most along with V6. And K8. K8 is somehow utterly crazy amazing... plus Yoko looks like Paris Hilton in a blonde wig and Nishikido with his terrible eye surgery looks amazing in a wig too? As does Maru... as does half of K8... not to mention Hina is totally amazing to HAHA AIR JORDAAAAANS (I think anyone who hasn't seen Neverland wil not get that line...)

Actually anyone who hasn't watched Neverland (the drama... such an MJ name now) won't get how Miyake is some crazy knife wielding kid and Tanaka is in love with Tsubasa... actually the whole Tanaka part is sad to be honest so.

I hate most of KAT-TUN. In my mind, Kame's eyebrows will always be gross (I feel really sorry for him other than that though because it's not like he is THAT bad he needs crap ratings on his crappy plot dramas) and Akanishi lives with cats and is probably somewhere being either really drunk or high. The only win moment for Akanishi is probably on Cartoon KAT-TUN where he does that skit and is like HA-HA-HA-HA. AMAZING. Tanaka is so kawaisouna... he has tattoos on his butt that are all over the papers and it's like WHY. Actually, the ultimate FAIL moment would be in the Queen of Pirates concert where he rides that motorbike and RIPS OFF HIS SHIRT. Nakamaru just... I only see him as beatbox annoyance so (shrug).

WIN goes to Ueda for being... Ueda and obviously Taguchi. Because everyone loves 入口出口田口です！Other than that whole 'going on holiday with his girlfriend' thing in the papers... which is totally ridiculous because I think it's SO CUTE he even has a steady girlfriend.

And I used to like NEWS but then I don't know what happened to them. So. But Koyama still has my vote.

HEY SAY don't exist. Nope.

And after that horrible ending with Koishite Akuma I don't know what to think of Yuuma anymore (but the other kid who is happy happy whose name I don't know is still really cute... for you know, B.I.Shadow anyway).

THERE. That is basically my huge JE rant. And I don't have a 10th Anniversary Arashi post because you know what, it's been 6 years, I've already done 5th Anniversary so... you know it's not that big a deal to me anymore, soon it'll be like 15th! and well, you'll all be over that soon too.

I AM SUCH A CYNICAL JE FAN haha

I babble when I can't get to sleep so this is pretty much what I'm doing right now. I found this amazing icon today that I named 黒い歯肉の理由 and there is a picture of Nino smoking and you know... I just think I'm a smartypants for coming up with it.

My flist is pretty dire recently, where have you all gone? Gosh.

I finally decided on a dress to buy because I saw the new colour for the reserved dress I was planning to buy and it was pretty... mint (they call it ピスターシュ which... isn't Pistachio or whatever so I have no idea what it's meant to be, I just know that I've seen it in cakes and things before haha)

Anyway, here:



I think the second wins (YES CHIBI NEKO) so really... you know... that is what I'm going to buy with the money I don't have hahaha.

Also, I rarely do product reviews, but this is amazing...



It's called 「毛穴のお掃除・つるりん肌の妖精」 and what it is, is a microfibre mitten that you put on your fingers and massage around your nose area and other areas you want your pores to be 'cleaned out'. I'm a sucker for things like this (like scissors that help trim your eyebrows and all types of weird razors, I'm kind of a beauty maintenance freak to be honest) and it really works! But I have the cute kumakun and well... he gets pretty mucky if you use him since he is like mashiro poor thing... but with a bit of cleanser it pretty much comes off.

He's so cute too! So it's such a cute plus!

That's all I have to say to be fair. Also I am drinking green tea? Well, with bits of rice... in it. It's called genmaicha 玄米茶 and it is... so nice haha ANYWAY.

I am going to watch some more Neverland because it's pretty crazy. No really haha I am not kidding.

I think I have like a weird derivative of Swine Flu except it's more Swine Cold of Boar Death or something I'm not sure, I just know my nose would like a break from sneezing now because it's just giving me headaches and doesn't help my runny nose.

HOW LONG WAS THAT SENTENCE?

I think I narrowed my "first lolita dress" down to two baby ones, mostly L'Oiseau print in pink and Usakumya in mint (is that the name? My head is vague and swimmy) but we shall see.

Also I've been watching 恋して悪魔 (BAMPYRE BOIZ) haha okay so it's all about prune juice drinking and 運命の女 and the subbers don't really know Japanese at all since how the hell do you translate 11 years old into 12 years old? Anyway, I've been watching it with and I have no idea how she got me into watching it but now we are somehow waiting for it every week. WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED?! NAZE?! ZENZEN WAKARANAI WA. (ALSO, HUGE QUALITY HIMITSU YOKATTA)

ふふふふ。双子の時間は幸せの出会い。してる？絶対に幸せ。
すぐに「ヒミツ」を見ようね（ニヤ）松本の髭くん（髭くん〜）はメグちゃんのために待ってよ！
永遠に待ってよよよ
ミンニーちゃんより（笑）レッドじゃないわ。

Right now I am watching this drama with Tanihara Shousuke in it. I know he's on Ousama no Brunch but geez, why do I find it really handsome HAHA. I guess... even though he was creepy in Love Shuffle, he is still really cute. I think it's his voice. I don't know.


(ps. I don't know why, but I remember I used to get yelled out for using SICK instead of ILL. Apparently ILL is english for FEELING UNWELL, whilst sick is throw up. SICK is also the AMERICAN for the ENGLISH ILL. Seriously, people, does it matter? I just use whatever comes out of my mouth first. OH THE PUNS).

SR WHY ARE YOU SUCH A WHOREFACE BITCH...

, I just thought I'd rewatch Spa & Treatment to see if it really was that bad but GOD HAHA

THE ONLY WIN THING IS TOKYO JIHEN.






and why does she have to say thank you in that gross voice HAHA


(also, help me with lolita dress choices. please?)

I finally changed my layout (though I forgot where I got the template from, so I'm going to search that so I can thank that person properly) and I changed my info page too even though it looks really not classy in any way.

ALSO I finally paid for my Angelic Pretty bag but it's not arrived at the delivery centre yet (apparently)... I hope it does or I am going to be so mad haha I heard JP stores usually is quite good at handling things, it's usually the Angelic Pretty side that gets caught up and is delayed.

While I am at it, I'm going to go make a list of dresses I might get for my birthday (because I am undecided) but are still below AT LEAST the ¥26,000 limit I set for myself (though some jumper skirts are WAY too nice when it's just over... god)

( Angelic/Baby mostly... though I am undecided whether to into the Innocent World area or not )

That's really it... I'm more keen on the Baby ones, and I was going to search Closet Child and Alice fururun but then decided if I was going to buy a dress I might as well buy a new one... or save up for Japan. New stuff might be in later for the winter but of course, I really want a cute pattern dress and not a more winterish one...

ANYWAY that was a boring post on my half haha it's just lolitafuku because I am pretty lolita crazy lately.

Dear bag, I hope you I will get you soon... even if customs might hate me for it.

I don't even know why I am back into this stuff haha it's so 5 years ago, but really, lolita stuff is too cute not to want to own.

Actually I only like this song because the chorus is catchy. Of course the lyrics are cliché after I heard it haha but CATCHY, but it a horrible edited too much PERFUME way (of course I still hate them like the plague)

I realised also that I hate translated Japanese lyrics haha I mean... the original is so much nicer if you know the language. But then I guess translating is a future job so...

ANYWAY, I just wanted to show this because it has kumikki in it and she is adorable if not kinda airbrushed to a point I don't know if she's real.

SHE WEIGHS 38KG HAHA WHAT.

I thought I'd ruin your friends list with this amazing picture edited by because I can and I think the whole ninoxgambit combination is amazing (because it's so true you know? The whole poker cards thing). I'm just writing because I'm actually seeing if I can wait for her to come back.

Nothing has really happened to me lately, other than being fangirl crazy and getting eyelash glue in my eye which has resulted in me being a mutant and watching Sexy Commando (seriously, Masaru, what) and therefore having my signature song being a Penicillin song but... I don't actually resent that.

I am going to put that video on here because I just want to scar your faces some more.



To be super honest, I don't really know what Hakuei is doing in this PV at all other than being sort of convulsive all the time and singing really weird high notes like 「僕が抱きしめて上げるううう！」 which I swear I need to sing at karaoke in the same way. Seriously. In maybe golden arm rings and a white long sleeved pajama top. I swear. And pretend to do a shredding crazy guitar solo.

Actually haha don't get me started on guitars, because this just reminds me of how STUPID artist guitars are.

On another note, I am totally into this right now:



I don't even know, but I like it so whatever hahaha.

I'm going to be studying Japanese in September. Which is totally different from what I was going to do in the first place (which is what, fashion? art? haha) and it's not that I don't like it anymore but I think there are people who can do that sort of thing naturally and there are people who take about double the time to do something like it and I'm in the latter half. Only in the whole design/pattern department because I am so inept in visualising alterations to your basic block that I probably need to go to pre-fashion school before I even get a degree in it.

Talking about that really makes me angry actually haha because I shouldn't have gone and done art foundation to begin with and I should have been totally more realistic about my choices and about my future than be all wishy-washy about it in my teens but it's not like you can turn back time and unmeet the people you've met so I really shouldn't be saying all this to begin with.

I think basically, the story is that I was a douchebag, and I met douchebag people (I dot drunk, I failed, I got more drunk with failed people who are totally fail and got totally reckless) and then complained about being friends with douchebag zombies when I was still a douchebag myself (but much less a zombie... this totally needs explaining but I really don't want to go into it right now, maybe I will when I feel like I am 'in that zone' but if you want to know, by all means asks, you can get the long version of my year until now haha)

In retrospect, I am a lot better now, as a person, and I am so glad I can actually say that because I have really hated seeing what I was doing to myself if only what, three years ago until now. Until probably around february this year and some time in... November? When I realised what a load of douchebag I really was and I ended up crying in the middle of Manchester with some fashion classmates (who some are now ex-Manchester-fashion-classmates and ex-ex since some have left the course too).

There seems to be way too much douchebag going on in this entry but haha.

This makes no sense when I read back on it but it does to me and I guess that's really all that matters.

I still draw though and I still do stuff. Other than fangirl. Like I'm probably going to get my piano retuned and play SR covers and not strut around and be naked in mini dresses and hope my dad morphs into Kameda but. Basically. I think I enjoy stuff I enjoyed before I went to sixth form. Which I changed because people around me made me turn into this thing I really wasn't and I thought that was how you had to be to be accepted but hey, screw them, because I don't even know any of those people any more.

It's sad to say I am happy I cut a lot of people out of my life, but when you feel this much less heavy with carrying this 'image' you don't really want, I don't really care. I am just glad to be me.

Of course now I am listening to Dejavu which is 's signature song (YES, YES I SAID IT PUBLICLY, WHATCHA GONNA DO? MAUL ME WITH ENGLISH CATS? DRINK SOME PROTEIN? STRUT INTO MY FACE?)

God this PV is so BAD haha here have some more scars:



WHAT IS WITH THAT MAKE-UP?!

デジャブーーー

I'm going to leave you with this hilarious picture (which you might not get if you don't know owarai combis)



トゥース！

ALSO, I AM IN HONG KONG DISNEYLAND. IN THE HOLLYWOOD HOTEL. OH YEAAAAAAH.

Before I post what I was going to post, let me just say that I had a dream where Aiba and Nino were battling for my affections and then I ended up playing this weird video game with Nino and it was all really weird. One part, Aiba was hugging me and he was squeezing me so hard I think I nearly passed out haha.

Anyway that is so fangirly of me but whatever. I thought it was pretty amazing.

Sakurai appeared briefly. Wearing no shirt and having some weird flexing competition with Aiba. It was also kind of weird, but not as weird as the whole Nino/Aiba thing.

ANYWAY, I am off to do my face and watch some more 真夜中の嵐（全てメグのせいですよ）。